There is,
apparently, no such thing as a happy word. Though, I guess that
depends on the user AND the recipient of the acts detailed by the
words we've done so far. Anyway, in keeping with relatively
short-standing tradition, today's word is machination.
It's also another one of those words that will perplex the average
listener when used en communicacion,
if you will. While, to be sure, similarities exist with
pseudo-synonymous words, machination
stands alone. Actually, most words do that when you think about it.
English is screwed up, but I don't think we have any pairs of words
that are both spelled identically, and possess the same meaning.
My lexicon isn't limitless, though, so I could be wrong. At any rate,
that would be savagely unnecessary. I mean, how would you KNOW?
That
kind of system
would leave interpretation, and correction up to the whims of anyone
who wanted to enforce it. And those who would want to enforce it are
not the sort of people you would want enforcing it. The machinations
of their mind, an anathema to civilized discourse. Actually, I think
I'm going to start doing that anyway. That was a pretty good segue,
yes? No, actually, those
people aren't worthy of the word. They befoul the proud face it
presents. Stinking, no good grammar Nazis. Go home. Wait. You
probably ARE home...Go...to jail! Yeah! Turn yourselves in. *Ahem*
Sorry about that. Anyway, I'll explain below:
Not
just any plot, intrigue, conspiracy, or skullduggery can be a
machination, though. In case you were wondering before, those words,
mixed together, make up the majority of the word in question's
definition. The plans of the
aforementioned horrid human beings (also a pretty good band name)
would barely constitute a ploy. MAYBE,
on a REALLY good day, they might graduate to stratagem.
Nay, machination is reserved
for describing the primary activity of the average Bond villain.
They do it all the time. They're always machinatin', machinatin'. The
difference? You may be asking, the difference is all in the
execution. It takes years of practice, believe me, I should know.
Any
rube can plot. Any toady can engage in skullduggery. A machination
requires sophistication. It must be sufficiently grandiose. It must
be executed with the, how you say, panache. A
good, hearty, disconcerting laugh is always a plus, too. To foil a
plot only requires knowledge of it. A conspiracy can be unmasked as
easily as making a strategic phone call. A full-blown machination,
however, can only be undone via Deus Ex Machina.
I guess certain Batman villains have claim to the activity as well.
Although...Hmm...Does Batman count as a Deus Ex Machina within
his own comic books? Eh, I think Batman counts as whatever he wants
to. I'll let it slide.
Dude...Best
villain name EVER. The Machinator. He'd always be dressed in 15th century Italian garb, have a goatee, and be constantly soliloquizing on the best way to rule (the world). Yeah, there's no WAY that guy doesn't
take over the world. He wins.
That's it. Game over, man, game over.
Good luck forestalling THAT, uncommonly handsome, rich hero with
limitless technical savvy. You are out of your league...
