At least it's not a
P word again...But, seriously, I'm going to have a talk with the guy
giving me these words. Mathword loving Mathnerd. Coaxial. You know
what? I can work with this. Aww, who am I kidding? I can work with
anything. Despite SOUNDING
scary, it's not, really. Then again, I'm not sure why it would be
scary. It's just a word. Words aren't scary. At least, they shouldn't
be. ANYHOO! In the scientific sense, it's a highly self-explanatory
word, assuming you have
a basic understanding of the parts that make up its whole. “Co”,
meaning basically, “alongside”, and “axial” which describes
an axis, a “straight”
“line” in 3-dimensional space.
Now, put them together, and you get one seriously unscary word.
Now
that that's over with. Screw coaxial. Seriously. The best thing they
ever did was make those little red, white and yellow wires. That was
it. That was the pinnacle of human invention. When I was a kid, we
had a TV so old, it didn't even have one of THOSE in the back. We had
to get an adapter, because coaxial cable was too high-tech. Man,
scr-- you get the idea. I still have nightmares about having to
adjust the cable, because it wasn't seated properly. There I would
be, playing Operation Wolf,
or LoLo 3 or whatever,
and suddenly, no visual
signal. That was really a drag, because I'd say that a fairly
important aspect of that whole activity is visual. Audio would “go
away” too, but it would send its surrogate, Howling Technobanshee,
to keep me company.
HHHHOOOOOWWWWRREEEEEEKKKKKKSSSSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
*shudder* While Wolf...Guy, or Lolo
would meet their fate, I would have to attempt to fix the TV. Being
wedged next to a wall, this was usually no easy feat. This adventure
usually ended with bleeding fingers, sweaty foreheads, and numerous
adolescent swear-words,
being uttered. <Gosh dang crap-stacking
fart-box!>. I meant it,
too.
The
pain has far from ended. Some of these new-fangled cable boxes for
the bringing of interwebs into your home have those self-same
infernal cables. I recently experienced a flashback, similar to what
I imagine PTSD is like, when I was attempting to figure out what was
wrong with a friend's internet. If only I had known beforehand. Like,
long beforehand. I would have headed that interaction off at the
pass. “Hey, you want to be my friend?” he would ask, innocently,
like a wolf in sheep's clothing. “Nope”, I would reply, “You're
an *******************”. Problem. Solved. Forget
killing Hitler, man. THAT is what I would do first. Hitler, a close
second, though. Don't even get me started about HDMI. There is top
and a bottom to those little plugs. You'd think
you'd have a 50/50 chance to get that sucker in there right-side-up
on your first try. Nope. Up-side-down EVERY TIME. You can't do that
with RCA cables. I guess
colorblind people might have some trouble with them, but they don't
deserve to enjoy television anyway.
You want to impress me? Someone make a cable that is as fast as an
HDMI cable is supposed to be, with a round, omnidirectional jack.
Then, the world will be perfect. The end.
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