20-Minute Topic: Malevolence

           Malevolence. I COULD leave it at that, but then I would depriving the world of the valuable experience that is reading my written word. Well, words. Plural. One word was necessary in any case. Malevolence is probably not something that needs a lot of explanation. If you aren't yourself malevolent, you likely know someone who is. Or have at least seen on in a Disney movie. I think we call them sociopaths now, or something. I don't know.

          Since everyone probably already knows what it means, I'll take things in a different direction. Work malevolence (that is, the word. I don't advocate actually BEING malevolent. Not publicly, anyway.) into your everyday conversations. It doesn't have to be correct usage. In fact, it's often better if it's not. Misattribute quotes. Get crazy. Malevolence makes the world go 'round. It's as the bard says, your malevolence warms my heart, baby. That guy's nose makes me malevolent. I have a malevolent growth on my butt. That's not incorrect usage, I just thought you should know. There are two possible results of this experiment. Well, one. Two results from one result, I guess. You're going to confuse people. That's gonna happen. That confusion will birth two different things. Actually, three. Maybe more. My credibility is going down the eau de toilette. People are either going to be apathetic toward your remarks, because they don't understand them, and write you off as being smarter than they are, be confused to the point of looking up the word when they get a moment, and realize you used the word wrong, or recognize your error right off the bat. Two of those outcomes are net wins for you. 66.66%. Not bad.

          Something occurred to me while I wrote that. I saw it as a win, because you were manipulating people and/or wasting their time. Does this mean that I myself am...malevolent? Can you be malevolent without realizing it? Is it consciousness of the malevolence which makes it thus? Truly a question for the philosophers. Thankfully, I'm as close to a philosopher as we got these days. I'll take a crack at this conundrum.

          I don't think you CAN be malevolent without realizing it. I have to believe that. It's either that or incriminate myself. However, my postulation isn't without support. That would be gross. Just sort of...suspended there. Nothing holding it up. The widely accepted Webster's definition says that malevolence is marked by a desire to do harm to another person. Seems pretty cut and dried to me. That being said, I guess I did just incriminate myself anyway. Variables are introduced when the discussion of whether there is a difference between knowing that you're hurting someone and knowing that hurting someone is wrong. I think that'll be my defense, should it come to that. Sociopathic and generally crazy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some malevolence to achieve before bed, and it's not getting any earlier.